I haven't written nearly as much as I had originally intended to as I began these musings. In my defense, we have had some very difficult moments in the past several months and I felt that it was better to fully process my thoughts than post emotion-driven digital diarrhea.
We like plans. No matter how much of an easy-going phlegmatic you may be, it's always nice to have some semblance of direction or security. After all, security is one of our basic human needs. It's only natural in our humanity to present our plans to God and expect Him to follow suit with them as if He would have never thought of it that way. "By jove! That boy is on to something! Did I make a winner or what? I wonder if, in his creative genius, he could top the platypus?"
But faith is a different animal all together.
Faith is crazy. Down-right nutter, crazy. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see, right? There is no five-step, 3 "don't-stand-in-the-fire" phases, strategy with it. There is no "fake-it-until-you-make-it". Faith takes all of our hope and control and confidence and places it in the hands of an omniscient God. Which, is the best place for it to be.
But even crazier than faith is faith with follow through. Faith with follow through is dangerous. It's uncertain and unpredictable. From the outside looking in, this faith... this faith should have you committed... and this is precisely wear I find myself.
I'm not going to lie: I feel crazy. Everything that I had planned has fallen to the wayside. Gone. There is no stability or security here. And I am left with these crisis question: Were we wrong? Did we hear God wrong? Have we been looking in all the wrong places? Is it better to step out in faith and be wrong than to not step out at all?
They say that silver has to be put through extreme heat to melt out all of the impurities, separating the precious metal from the dross. Right now, we're in the center of that fire and it hurts. It's not pleasant. But through the fires, I can say with conviction that I truly believe that we made the right decision to take that first step of faith.
Recently, a very dear friend of mine has begun to send me his musings on faith and life in Christ. In a recent excerpt, he told a parable of a young man. This young man had begun on a journey by train a while ago with a passion and fervor to help his hurting world, but as the comfort of his existence increased, his eagerness to venture beyond his comfort waned. At the end of his journey, the man penned a hasty note to those who would follow with these words: "Don't forget why you got on the train."
It's easy to forget why the first step was taken when everyone around you questions the logic of your actions based on faith. "There's no money in that! Are you sure that's safe? How will you _____ (fill in the blank - it's probably been asked)?"
This is no new phenomena. Even Job's friends tried to reason with him about his confidence in the Lord despite his circumstances - heck, Job's own wife told him to curse God and die. But at the end of it all... when the fires cool and the ashes are blown away, faith puts on the brightest shine.
So, call me crazy. I know I am - but a different kind of crazy. O don't have all the answers and I'm no expert on living triumphantly in faith - because I don't feel very triumphant at the moment. But even the people in Jesus home town scoffed at Him and thought He was nuts.
And I, for one, will gladly throw my lot in with Him.
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